I want to share with you this truth that is very close to my heart. As some of you may know, last year, my husband was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. In various posts I shared my feelings about it and therefore my struggle with faith. However I also shared how I HAD to let go and pass through the pain, the fear and the bitterness that was just accumulating in my soul. For me the only way to do it was choosing to believe.
« These many prayers spent crying more than talking, surrendering more than trying to understand, declaring more than feeling sorry for ourselves were the most hard and painful prayers I ever had to pray since I know Jesus. However these exact hard and painful prayers were my biggest relief and where I conquered my battle. I could finally end this season of struggling with a choice: believe in what has already been accomplished at the cross for my husband’s health. »
I shared these words on my last post of 2018. Right now you too are struggling with your faith, with your feelings. You too are facing a fearful and painful situation. And because I conquered mine, I want to help you conquer yours.
Truth is that the only way through your pain, your hurting heart and your disapointment is to choose to believe in God. In order to grow something beautiful out of your hurtful situation you need to believe in God’s purpose for it. In order to witness the fulfillment of the promise, you need to believe in God’s promise for it. But mostly, in order to pass through the tough times of the season, you need to keep believing in God himself.
Easier said than done. It’s not pleasant. But you need to decide to put your feelings aside and in purpose hold yourself to God’s word. I cried more than I talked because it’s ok to let your feelings speak. But we can’t let our feelings take control of our hearts and lives. We need to command our feelings and the only way to do that is to speak to them. How? By declaring the word of God over them. Declare the promise God made to you. Declare to your situation that God has done it already. But not just declare empty words. Instead fill them with conviction.
But the most difficult yet liberating part, is to surrender. Surrender when all you want to do is blame God. Surrender when all of you asks why and tries to find the reasons behind it all. Surrender when you don’t understand. I have come to know that surrender means to let go and let God. True surrender is defined by how much you’re willing to give up your heaviness in God’s loving hands.
That is when you’ll find peace. The peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). When you’ll choose to trust God.
There comes a time where you have a choice to make: either you continue building up anger and hurt or you surrender to God and you believe in His word. Right now, choose to let go and let God work the miracle. It hurts. It’s trampling on your pride. It’s giving up on your feelings. It’s going against logic. But it’s the most wonderful thing you can do to your heart and soul and to your situation. In due time, the blessing will come. God will remember the promise He made to you. You will witness the miracle. But for now, rest in the God who loves you and choose to entrust Him with your situation.
Since the beginning I say « choose » or « decide » because it is not when you feel ready or when you feel God will do it. No, it’s a decision you make in the midst of your feelings and even if what you see goes against what you expect for. It’s a decision to believe even when everything tells you not too.
The revelation of choosing to believe comes with knowing who you are believing in. When you know God you know He is faithful to his promises. Remember who is your God. At the cross Jesus took your situation and exchanged it with a blessing. That is why He said: « It is finished ». Sister, God already did it at the cross. Now it’s just a matter of time until we see the promise made. Choose to believe it. Trust in God.